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I think I might start a tumblr. There's no community here anymore :(
I thought I had 8 weeks from this Sunday but I only have 7 weeks from this Sunday which means I only have 53 days from today. SHIT. I have to look awesome in a freaking hi-cut leotard in 53 days. This sucks so bad. I don't even know what I weigh right now because I haven't weighed myself for like 3 weeks. But what I do know is that I have to get my freaking arse in gear.

This is how disgusting I was on the weekend. Granted, half of this was the munchies but holy obese cow.
THURSDAY night-SUNDAY night - Subway 6 inch, oysters & prawns, beers, pancake, beers, McChicken meal, bacon egg cheese bagel, juice, Nandos pita, Bread Top, beers & SoCo, calamari & prawn salad, twiggy sticks, beers, bagel, juice, Subway 6 inch and 2 cookies, Chicken parmagiana, beers, bacon egg cheese bagel, juice, KFC lunchbox, beers, bourbon, small pizza. A block of chocolate somewhere over the weekend and God knows what else.

MONDAY - Bagel with vegemite, black coffee. Banana. Footlong vegie delite with avocado. Frozen yoghurt with mixed berries. Soy latte. 2 pieces of licorice. Baked beans on toast. Orange juice.
TUESDAY - 2 pieces of vegemite toast, black coffee. Vegie curries, rice, garlic naan. Latte sachet. Apple. Mexican combination and sangria.
WEDNESDAY (so far) - 2 pieces of vegemite toast, black coffee. Apple passionfruit juice. Salad with 2 dill pickles. Tea with milk. Banana. A handful of fruit & nut mix. Tomato cup-a-soup. Dinner will be a fish fillet and frozen vegies.

So apart from stuffing my face full of Mexican last night I actually did okay this week so far. It's a step up from the disgusting obese fatty fat weekend I had. But there's only 53 days to go and I'm not taking any prisoners.
Fuck. Fucked it up sooooo badly.
I'm so fine with eating well and all of that and then I have a really low energy day and binge. Well, not even binge but just overdo the treats. I'm supposed to be 134 this week. Not happening.
But you know what? I really fucking want this.
I thought I wanted it more than alcohol but it seems like lately I just want to get drunk. I feel like Marissa Cooper. If only I was than thin...
Fuck. The guys at work made us go to McDonalds for lunch. I was starving and order a McChicken without cheese and a Coke zero but was going to not eat my fries. Yeah, right. Could have just not had lunch or gotten a salad but noooo. Fatass here had to go for it. Thanks, genius.

Leom Detox Diet was sold out at my shop last night so I was going to trek up to the next nearest, which was near where I was going out tonight but that got cancelled so now I don't know where I'll be able to get it. This sucks.
I fell off the wagon. Totally not in a small way either. I'm going to have to buy the lemon detox diet and start it on the weekend and do everything I can to get this weight off. Shit. I can't I did this. Tuesday was supposed to be an alcohol free day but then it all went to shit. Ended really well though. Couldn't be happier. But then I was hungover and ate heaps yesterday and so exhausted today I was too tired not to eat. But then I had my weigh in today and I'm not even going to talk about it. Needless to say I am not at my goal of 136lbs. Need to get to 134lbs by next Wednesday to still be on track. Fuck.
I figured out who one of the thinspo blogs I read is. I know her and I hate her and she's miserable and it's so entertaining but now I really have to win this.
138. 2 lbs to go in 2 days. Pretty sure I can do it.
I've got the shakes so bad right now, and a haze which can only be one thing - my room mate was trying to force a Seroquel down my throat (literally) and some of it must have broken down. Just tried to lift my coffee cup and my arm was really weak. Definitely not up for food right now, which is great. Had a huge weekend and ate sporadically...
Friday night - Quorn casserole then a couple glasses of wine, a beer and a cider, a cocktail, a vodka soda and then a bourbon & coke. Ouch.
Saturday - A few beers, a Fillet-O-Fish meal without cheese, a few scotches, a few crackers with dip/salsa. 3 ciders.
Sunday - Weetbix with soy milk, canapes - oysters, mini chicken pies, spinach & feta scrolls and champagne. Crisps.
Shouldn't drink that much... so bad for my calorie intake.
My head aches a little, my stomach is a tad queasy and I've had less than 3 hours sleep but this morning when I woke up and weighed myself there was a surprise for me.
138.6lbs. 63kgs.
I'm now off to dance class and walking home, then into the city to have lunch with my parents (salad probably).
I'm only 2.6lbs away from my Wednesday weigh in goal.
Please please please let it not just be water loss. I'm going to be SO careful this weekend now, I don't want to undo it.
Named (Alias): Miss Determined
Age: Early-mid twenties
Height: Just shy of 5'6
Goal Weight: GW1 - 132lbs, GW2 121lbs, UGW - 110lbs.
Country: Australia
Single/Taken: I'm going to say I'm single because I'm not in a relationship
In love: Nope.
Straight/bi/gay: Um, I don't know. Straight/bi?
Vegetarian/Vegan: Mostly vegan
Where you wanna be in 5 years: Skinny! Maybe get married & have kids. Definitely be successful.
Ultimate Celebrity Thinspo: Nicole Richie, Jess Origlasso, Mary-Kate Olsen
Problem Area: Muffin top.
Fave Feature: Wrists and chestplate, they're the skinniest
Eye Colour: Blue
Natural hair Colour: Blonde
Current Hair Colour: Blonder
Fav skinny tip: Vegan diet, Fruit/Salad/Vegies, water, fat blaster, jump rope
Fave skinny quote: Nothing tastes as good as thin feels
Pets: None
Drug experience: Plenty.
Fave book: Skinny Bitch, anything thinspo.
Fave song: For thinspo - The Nobodies, otherwise anything that helps me run.
Tats: A couple
Piercings: A few.
Random fact: I've been around on forums since Bluedragonfly, was a member of the original Raven Rock Candy. Hardcore ;)
Haha! 140.2... Means I have lost 4.2lbs already.

So that was just fluctuation. Awesome. Means I only need to catch up by 2.2lbs between now and next week, so I have to lose 4.2lbs to reach next week's target and I only need to lose less than half a pound to put me back under the 140 mark. Well that's brightened my day a little already.

Nothing like a little heartbreak to stave off the hunger pangs. PB crust-slice toast, an apple and a banana, a salad sandwich. This afternoon I ate a few cookies at work and then cooked a casserole for dinner with mock meat and tomato and stuff which was super low calorie. Then I promptly vomited back up the two serves I had, with little to no effort (thank you years of experience) and then ate a few potato chips with my roommate to cover the flavour/smell. But now they won't settle.

I am such a pro at this. Not really. But I feel like I know what I'm doing. Jump rope tomorrow and energy/fat burning pills. Avoiding social situations most of the weekend due to money & not wanting to eat/drink. I want this 4.2lb loss more than ANYTHING. Even food. Especially food.

"Some women choose to follow men and some women choose to follow their careers. If you're wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn't love you anymore" - Lady Gaga